Becoming an MP joins the long list of things Colin Craig is confident he can do, including:
- Assisting all new mothers to remove their shoes and make their way securely to the kitchen.
- Ending the plague of gay marriage upon all of our houses.
- Overturning scientific abominations such as the teaching of evolution in classrooms.
- An excellent karaoke rendition of the song “Roar” by Katy Perry.
- Removing the redundant “h” from the placename “Whanganui”.
- Removing the redundant “s” from the pronoun “she”.
- Merging the North and South islands into a single landmass through the power of prayer1.
- Making our country a laughingstock.
This is yet another reason why electorates are the obvious weakness of MMP and we should transition to an open list system as soon as we can convince enough of the country via referendum. That a small community can (potentially) elect a credulous bigot and disgrace such as Colin Craig with a bare fraction of the vote we require for a single list seat is ridiculous, and the rate at which we keep adding electorates makes things even worse. Local representation is not necessarily better representation.
1This is actually supposed to be a thing if you take the Bible literally, like Colin Craig.
See Matthew 17:20 for more info- basically, if you have even a little faith, and you sincerely pray for something as ridiculous as moving a mountain, you’re supposed to be able to make it happen. Of course this has led to a number of “no true Scotsman” objections along the lines of “ah, clearly he didn’t really believe/wasn’t sincere in wanting the mountain to move/etc..”